Because Of Him

Every Sunday I go to church and sit through three hours of Gospel doctrine. Sometimes I LOVE listening and really love learning, then there are many other times where I wish I could be trying my new DIY i've seen on Pinterest. I know im young and have a lot to learn but yesterday was another day that I was grateful for all my shortcomings in life.

God had to let me fall, and he had to watch me fall hard.

Growing up I struggled with a lot of self esteem issues which led to addictions with food and weight issues, leading into health issues and trust issues.

I struggled with all these issues all growing up in high school and my first years of college.

I heard the voice of Satan every minute of everyday.

He would tell me I wasn't good enough, I wasn't worth it, I was ugly, fat, dumb, He told me I was a horrible friend, He told me that hiding and food was my friend and people weren't. He told me I wasnt good enough to even go to church so why bother? He told me God didnt want me there.

I listened

I didnt go to church because I was embarrassed, I hid in my room everyday. My friend was ice cream and fast food. I felt horrible about my self. I saw myself slip down so low and so dark I hated seeing myself in a mirror.

I saw my friends all around me succeeding and living an amazing life!

I hated watching my friends succeed in school, work and relationships. I was jealous and envious of what they had and what I didnt

I wanted someone to love me so bad to maybe help me get out of my head. So when someone came and showed me some sort of love I did the unthinkable and let that person take control of me. They left. I was alone all over again.

But something was different this time. Something slapped me in the face one night and said "Alexa you silly girl read your blessing"

I got out a copy of a blessing that was given to me when I was 16. The line that stood out to me said something on the lines of " God is pleased with you... You where one of the leaders."

I broke down, and for the first time I pored my heart out to my Savoir. I went to talk to my Bishop at church and he lead me to read some amazing books about the Atonement. My eyes where open to what was being taught in church all these years of my life.

Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ I was able to pick my self up.. very slowly.. but for once in a long time I was moving forward. And isn't this what life is about.. moving forward?

Because of Him I can become like him. I can live in the presence of my Heavenly Father again.

Because of Him my mistakes can be forgiven and most importantly they can be forgotten.

Because of Him I can be perfect.

Because of Him I can be better everyday.

Because of Him I learned to serve others.

Because of Him I look at myself and can love myself because my body is a gift from Him, I am made in His image. I have to take care of this body. Its the only one I get.

GOD LOVES ME! GOD WANTS ME TO LOVE ME!

and He loves you!

I love Easter and the reminder that Because of Him I can be with my family forever. I can be with CJ forever.

CJ is the perfect example of love and service. That's one reason i Love him

Happy Easter Season everyone!

I hope you can see how much I love you all!

xoxo